More Stories About Linda

                                 More Stories About Linda







     When I first met Linda she was wearing hard contact lens, soft lens wouldn't be available for quite some time. She had been wearing contacts for several years. She told me that she didn't know she needed glasses until one of her teachers had her eyes checked and chewed out her father for not noticing the problem. Once she got glasses she was amazed at the transition, up until then she thought that everyone saw the world thru blurred vision.
     The glasses worked well in that they opened up a whole new world for her that was full of details she had never seen before. The only draw back was that her vision changed so rapidly that she required new glasses annually and each prescription was stronger than the last one. It wasn't until she was a teenager that she tried contact lenses and things settled down, her vision didn't change for many years, in fact she was wearing the original lenses when we met and she didn't get new ones until years later. She never indicated to me that she had a problem although I was concerned that she would wear her contacts for a couple of days at a time only removing them for a quick cleaning, she was not supposed to sleep in them but she did.
     We were constantly on the go back then, swimming, water skiing, camping trips to the mountains or Florida. We would be up all night driving somewhere or partying to the wee hours of the morning. When driving a long distance I would get tired and she would take over for me and I would awaken later to find her hunched over the steering wheel, she would deny anything was wrong. She was in her late twenties when I finally got her to have her eyes checked again, her prescription had changed but not much. Because we did a lot of water skiing I had her get a pair of glasses to wear in case she lost a contact, her vision was so bad that the lenses of the glasses were thick, like the bottoms of coke bottles, but there was nothing she could do.
     Years went by, the boys were born and grew to be teenagers, she was a housewife and as such she was constantly on the go for activities involving the boys. Years later Linda told me the reason she had Clay go with her to craft shows was to read the road signs, her eyes were getting blurry again but she wouldn't admit to anything. Now is the time I will say that Linda was not only beautiful and genuinely a good person she was also stubborn, independent and always concerned about money, she took care of every one else before tending to her own needs.
     There was a fix for her problem, it was called radial keratotomy. It had been around for several years having been perfected in Russia of all places, the procedure had only been performed in the US for about ten years and Linda waited to see what after effects may occur. Finally in the mid 1990's she had the operation which involved slicing the iris of the eye like the spokes of a wagon wheel, if performed incorrectly the she would lose her eyesight. She had her eyes operated on one at a time and after many months of recovery the operation was a success.
     Several days after the first eye was operated on and the eye patch was removed she took a shower, when she got out she found me and with an excited voice she told me she had looked down while in the shower and saw her toes. This didn't connect in my brain right away because that is what people usually see when they look down while in a shower. Linda explained that she had never, the optimum word here is NEVER, seen her toes unless she was wearing contacts which she didn't wear while taking a shower. A day or so later she was washing dishes and looked out the window and saw a squirrel in a tree which in itself was nothing unusual except that she also saw individual leaves on the branches of the tree. Up until then all tree leaves were just a green blur.
     Linda's world was expanding larger than life itself, it was brighter than ever before and full of little inconsequential items like leaves, pebbles, and dust on the furniture. Everything I had taken for granted my whole life she was just now discovering in great detail, only then did I realize just how bad her vision had been all those years. I watched as she threaded a needle for the first time without squinting, watched as sweat ran into her eyes without making her cry. At this time she was probably as happy as she was when her sons were born, Linda was most beautiful when she was happy.
     About four years ago, that would be 2011, Linda's vision was once again deteriorating, the diagnosis was cataracts in both eyes, she was slowly going blind. We knew nothing of her heart condition at the time, it would not have mattered to me had we known, I would have rather she died on an operating table than had to live out her life unable to see the beauty in her world. The issue again was payment, no insurance and no money but we had credit cards and $5000 was, oh well you can't take it with you.
     The operation was successful and she was soon back watching the Hummingbirds fight over the feeders in her back yard, she could see to make quilts again.
     For most of her life Linda had problems with her vision but she thought it would never improve so she lived with it, she hand stitched quilts, embroidered, needlepointed, crocheted with small thread and never complained. Every bit of her work was beautiful, perfect because she would put up with nothing less. It was Linda that taught me to see beauty in the daily grind most of us call life, I would see a squirrel chewing up the lawn, she would see a cute, furry, cartoon like character playfully looking for food.
     In the end Linda slipped into a coma, her eyes open to a world she could no longer see, a sad commentary for someone who could see so much beauty in the blurry shadows of life.



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                                                                The Babysitter


     After years of trying to have a baby I was told I didn't have enough little squigglies running around. We tried to adopt but it was not only a difficult process back then but I personally had a problem with the program. I worked on my adoption issues but before things could get serious Linda went to the doctor one day and came home with the news that she was pregnant. I can't tell you my exact feelings at the moment but I do remember being scared to death, what me a father, why I'm 33 too old to be starting a family, how are we going to afford another mouth to feed, I was dumbfounded and awe struck at the same time.
     By the end of the nine month incubation period I had resigned myself that fatherhood was not that bad of an idea, I was actually looking forward to holding a little bundle of joy in my arms. Ultra sounds and fathers in the delivery room were ideas still in their infancy so we didn't know for sure the sex of the baby although I think Linda knew it to be a boy. Then the great day arrived, July 10, 1980 Michael Daniel Riggan arrived via cesarean section, he had a full head of dark hair and his Hungarian doctor pointed to the large wet spot on his surgical garb to indicate that all functions were operational.
     Much like today mothers who gave birth via caesarian section had to take things easy for a while so I helped out wherever I could with feeding and diaper changes. One morning I awoke to the sounds of Danny waking up, I decided that I could handle his feeding and told Linda to stay in bed. Danny was a couple of months old at this time and was bottle fed so the first thing I did was mix his formula and warm it up. While the bottle was warming I changed his diaper and carried him in to the kitchen to check on the bottle which was ready. There we were father and son sitting on the couch, me in my BVD's and Danny in his diaper cradled in my arm and sucking on the bottle when the biggest grin appeared on his face. I thought he was happy to be looking up at his dad until I felt a warm sensation on my belly and a strong aroma permeating the room, whoever said that a babies poop didn't smell was obviously not a parent.
     Changing diapers was part of the job and nothing that couldn't be handled even though this was a lot to deal with. I took Danny in to the bathroom, turned on the water in the tub, removed the diaper and was in the process of figuring out what to do next when Linda walked in wondering if I was trying to kill my son. You see, when I stood up to take Danny to the bathroom I had to put the bottle down but he wasn't thru with it and became angry, voicing his displeasure very loudly. There I stood poop running down my belly over my BVD's and thighs, holding my son at arms length trying to wash poop off his backside and all the while he was screaming and the water in the tub was turning brown.
     I don't remember Linda's exact words but I do remember the feeling of relief as mom came to the rescue.

     Another time Linda left me in charge of Danny, he was walking by this time, he and I were in the garage and I wanted him to come to me so I called out to him and his response was one of the few words in his vocabulary "no". When I started after him he turned and ran in the opposite direction which was toward the street and I gave chase. Those short little legs of his propelled him quickly down the drive just as a car was coming down the street and the driver could not see Danny because of a parked car at the curb, fortunately he could see me running toward the street and had slowed enough to slam on the brakes when Danny darted out in front of him. The old man was a little shaken, I was scared and Danny was scared as he stood in front of a car that had just come to a screeching halt about two feet from him, he started to cry although I am not sure that at that age he knew why. I picked up my son and apologized to the old man as he breathed heavily, Danny's crying brought Linda to the scene and she took him from me as I explained what had just happened. Linda held Danny with his face buried in her neck and walked away quietly talking to him in a soothing tone that calmed him. As for me I got the " you have to keep an eye on the baby at all times " speech.


     Then there was the time Linda went grocery shopping and left me to watch Danny, we were in the garage Danny was playing in the saw dust on the floor when a neighbor walked up and he and I started talking. As my neighbor and I continued to talk  Danny lost interest in saw dust and started to wander around the garage, I followed him out of the corner of my eye but became momentarily distracted which was enough time for him to get into trouble. I heard him cry out and turned to find a coke bottle which had acetone in it laying on the floor and Danny was wiping at his face. Without saying a word to my neighbor I swooped Danny up in my arms and rushed into the shower stall in our bedroom. I turned the cold water on full blast and with Danny's head resting in one of my hands and the other hand holding tightly to his ankles I held him under the cold shower to wash away any of the acetone.
     It was about this time that Linda comes home and hears Danny's screams from the near drowning he was undergoing and she walked into the bathroom. There we were, both of us fully clothed and soaking wet, Danny in a nearly upside down position was sputtering as the shower briskly sprayed in his face, his little arms flailed at the water as he tried to cry out. Linda was upset as we checked Danny out and determined him to be ok, once again I got the keep your eye on the kid speech accompanied by the I just can't leave you alone with him. It was some time before Danny and I could enjoy a little guy time with out mom within earshot.
   

     Now with all of my problems pertaining to parenthood this is not to say that Linda was perfect, she was a great mother, she loved both boys with all her heart and did everything in her power to make sure they reached adulthood as young men that we could be proud of, in that respect she was very successful despite my ineptitude and my not always being around. She did though have her own troubles which I didn't always find out about until after the fact.
     There was the time, when we lived in California, she and the boys had gone on a day trip, Danny who was about six at the time was apparently acting up and Linda, her nerves frayed, had had enough  so she pulled over to the side of the interstate and made him get out of the car and she drove off. She didn't go far and Danny got the point.
     Danny was such a handful as a preteen it was even money if it would be Linda or one of his teachers who would kill him prior to his reaching puberty. There was the night I called home to tell Linda I was working late, Clay answered and quickly told me Danny had removed a window screen in his room and jumped to the ground running off to who knows where. Linda was not concerned and actually seemed somewhat relieved. I rushed home and went to his friends house and brought him home.


     When Clay was just a baby he developed a fever and even started turning blue, Linda was alone with the boys, I was at work. Fortunately the girl next door was at home and drove Linda to the nearest clinic as Linda gave mouth to mouth to Clay. Once they reached the clinic the doctors packed Clay in ice to get his fever down, he survived.


     These are but a few of the perils of parenthood, for my part I can say that Linda was probably right, left to my own defenses I should not have been left alone with the boys, their survival was solely due to their mothers efforts, she loved them, took care of them, watched over them and turned them into men who are a credit to her name, a legacy which she was very proud of.