Aunts, Uncles and Cousins

     
                  Aunts Uncles and Cousins







      Growing up in the 50's was a family affair- brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles, parents and grandparents.  Family life was all important so a gathering of the clan happened often.  With us it was every Sunday when Dad drove the family to his parents place out in the country.  A couple of times a month the visit would be cut short so we could visit Mom's parents across the river.  Back then there were things called "blue laws " that kept all non-essential businesses closed on Sunday.  It was a day of rest and relaxation and across the land families gathered to spend the day in togetherness.
     Mom and Dad both came from what I considered large families.  Dad was one of six kids although a sister died shortly after birth.  Mom was one of six kids.  Families of the day were generally five plus kids, any less was just un-American.  Large families made for bunches of Aunts, Uncles and cousins.  On Mom's side of the family I was the first born grandchild, on Dad's side I was the first born grandson and of course I was the first born anything for Mom and Dad. I held several first place positions and all I had to do was be born.
     Family gatherings were fun in that everyone seemed to be happy to see each other.  They showed up dressed in their Sunday best clothes.  The uncles all seemed to gather together and start talking work, politics, sports and life in general.  The aunts would go off in a group and start talking about whatever   but it was called gossip.  Everyone would always comment about how big the kids were getting to be or wanting to know what we were learning in school, made me wonder if school really changed that much?  I couldn't walk by an Aunt without being pulled on to their lap and hugged so tight they squeezed the breath out of me then I would breathe in lungs full of whatever perfume they were wearing which could be quite overwhelming.  Aunts were about as bad as Grandmothers in that they always wanted hugs and kisses and to pinch your cheeks.  Every week someone was amazed at how much bigger I had gotten to be even though they had seen me just last weekend, had I grown that fast I would surely be ten feet tall by now.  There was always a comparison as to whether I looked more like my mother or father although there were times I favored one of the Grandparents.  All of the kids were put thru this standard ordeal in the order of their arrival.
     Mom's side of the family had something called Great Aunts and Uncles and second cousins who we would see from time to time.  We didn't understand about Aunts and Uncles being " Great ". Grandpa's Wade's sisters were great in stature so I figured that was why they were Great Aunts but then Granny's Wade's sister Sahara was downright petite and she was a Great Aunt.  Sometimes life can be confusing for kids.  Although we may not have understood what made them " Great " we did know they were family.
     Not all of the aunts and uncles lived close enough to show up every Sunday.  Dad's brother Ray was a trucker and was not always in town.  Mom's big brother RC lived in California, her brother AJ traveled a good bit especially after he got his law degree and her younger brother Paul was in the Navy and lived out of state for a while.  It was always a big event when a long absent member of the family came into town.
    I was in awe of my aunts and uncles they seemed to always be happy and in good spirits.  The gathering could at times get quite loud as the siblings talked of old times, good and bad.  I heard tales of how Grandpa Wade would line up all of the kids when he came home from work and  give them a good whack with one of his big hands for getting into trouble, whether they had or not didn't matter.  Grandpa Riggan supposedly was a strong disciplinarian who did not spare the rod, I could believe this as I once saw him get after my brother Pat with a switch,  though he was normally very laid back.
     I can't remember all of the stories but I do remember hearing that Dad and his brothers would flip over outhouses on Halloween and on one occasion there was someone still inside.  Mom's brothers RC and AJ evidently were very mischievous and did things like dismantling the principle's buggy and reassembling it on the roof of the school.  They were also involved in locking up a pony in the girls dressing room after a Friday night football game, the pony and his mess were not discovered until Monday.
     I had five cousins on Dad's side and eleven on Mom's side plus myself and siblings made for 21 grand kids.  Growing up I was somewhat envious of my cousins, they were either only children or had only one sibling, I on the other hand had three brothers and a sister.  There was no such thing as peace and quiet around our house because we were such a large family, we had less than our cousins but there was never a dull moment and we really didn't know the difference.  In one respect though, us cousins were all alike in that we all were skinny, barefoot and had big ears.  I have the old black and white pictures to prove it.
     Looking back I can say that I had my favorite aunts and uncles.  Dad's brother Sam was always arriving in a newer car, he changed cars as often as some people changed clothes and he had a boat.  Uncle Ray drove a big truck and to a young lad such as myself that was a very envious trade. Aunt Elizabeth was nice as was Aunt Francis.
     Now Aunt Francis was the oldest in Dad's family and Dad was the youngest.  The story I heard was that Aunt Francis spent  lot of time pretty much caring for Dad when he was a baby and on into his later years.  She was like a second mother, because of this she had a soft spot for Dad and when I came along the soft spot was transferred to me.  When I was younger I couldn't walk by without her grabbing me and pulling me onto her lap for some rib cracking hugs and kisses, all of the squirming and kicking would not get me loose until she was ready to let me go.  She was a gentle soul and whenever I could visit her, it seemed to light up her day.
     Mom's siblings were not much different.  Uncle RC was the oldest and he looked exactly like Grandpa just not quite as heavy.  He lived in California with his wife Norma and daughters Pam and Beth.  They seemed to be the exotic ones in that they lived so far away and we only saw them every few years.  Linda and I saw them a lot when we lived in California and always enjoyed their company.  We still talk to Aunt Norma on occasion.
     Uncle AJ was somewhat of a mystery to me when I was young but as I got older I figured out that he was a go-getter.  He put himself thru law school while working and became a corporate lawyer for a big manufacturing company.  He traveled the world for the company until he went into private practice.  I guess you could say he was the smart one of the family.
     Uncle Paul was next to the youngest of the family as well a the runt of the litter but of all of my blood uncles he was and still is my favorite.  He is a bit of an eccentric and more unlike any of his siblings than you can imagine but he is fun to be around and I think the world of him.  I could probably write a good story about him.  Sadly, I don't get back home much and haven't seen him in several years.
     Aunt Sarah was the youngest and to be honest was more like a big sister than an aunt.  I remember when she was still in high school and later dated and married Uncle Henry.
     Mom's sister Addie was married to uncle Harold.  They always had a smile and hearty laugh.  The story is that I was a hard birth for Mom and she was often sick.  When I wasn't sent off to Grandpa Riggan's,  Aunt Addie and Uncle Harold would take me for days.  I have been told that my first word was "Harold".  As I got older I called most of my uncles " Unc ".  The last time I saw Uncle Harold was at Mom's funeral I walked up to him and said ,"hey Unc".   He laughed and said he knew I would call him Unc.  Sadly, that was the last time I saw him or heard his contagious laughter.
     Here is a story about Uncle Harold and Uncle Paul:  Uncle Harold was a builder of custom homes and well respected in the industry.  Uncle Paul was a government employee working at a weather radar station.  As I said before, Uncle Paul is a bit of an eccentric and many years ago he bought a farm that has a brick house that was built before the Civil War by slave labor.  The bricks were made by hand and the walls were about 18" thick.  Uncle Paul decided to add to the kitchen and put in a root cellar at the same time.  After he had the cellar completed he bought wood from a local mill for the floor joist and asked me, Uncle Harold, and Grandpa Wade to come help him build the floor.
      Seems that Uncle Paul wanted to maintain the integrity of the house so he bought dried oak 2x10's and we cut them to length and started to nail them in place.  Mind you, these were not milled boards so they were a full two inches thick.  Every time we started a nail and got it to the point that we could swing away with the hammer the nail would bend or go flying thru the air.  The wood was dried out and hard.  We should have pre drilled the holes but didn't and every time Grandpa would bend a nail or one would go flying thru the air he cussed a blue streak and Uncle Harold would laugh so hard at Grandpa he would miss his nail head.  Uncle Paul was concerned that he had bought enough nails and cautioned us not to waste them - we went thru a bunch of nails.
     I left Tennessee about 1978 and my work took me all over the country.  The homecomings were always something to look forward to, I was always happy to see my relatives and sad to leave them. Eventually that generation started to age, first it was Dad who passed away then Grandpa Wade a few days later and one by one they have passed on to the next life. Only Aunt Jean ( Uncle RC's wife ) and Uncle Paul are still with us.
     As for the cousins most are still around though a couple have passed away.  Most are still in the middle Tennessee area.  A few like myself are scattered around and have made their homes elsewhere.  Some of us are retired now and others are fast approaching that stage of life.  For whatever reasons we haven't kept up on a regular basis so now our kids don't realize that they have family they never met or were so young they don't remember - how sad!  There was a time when a person was born, raised, lived, worked and died within a few miles of home then one day society became like the vagabonds of old and families scattered to the four winds.
     Like characters in a play,  my extended family weaved in and out of my life leaving little bits of themselves embedded in my memory waiting to be retrieved and woven into a story for the next generation or just as a pleasant thought to brighten my day.
     I keep saying to myself that I am going to go home and see family before it is too late but something always seems to come up.  Maybe tomorrow or next week or for sure next year I can find the time, we'll see... I will always remember.