MOM

                                 MOM





     I recently went on a trip to Tennessee and Kentucky to visit family. Whenever we siblings get together at some point in the conversation we will talk of Mom, Dad, Aunts, Uncles and, Grandparents. While visiting with brother Clint and his wife Judy our conversation turned to Mom and Judy asked the question, "was Mom ever happy"?
     I had to think for a moment before answering,  you see the last few years of Mom's life were not the best years.  For whatever reason she could find very little to smile about.  She appeared  happy being miserable.  During this time frame Mom and I were not on speaking terms so I can only refer to things I had heard.
     Was Mom ever happy?  The answer to the question lies deep in the past and I can only attest to the things I know.
      While I had what I call a good childhood there were times when it was hard to please Dad. Switches and belts often ruined a good day of fun and games.  Mom though never laid a hand on me. Neither did she stop Dad's punishment.  Many times the only way Dad knew there was a problem was because Mom had told him.  Mom was the first person we saw when we woke in the morning and the last when we went to bed so it was natural that I felt closer to her.
     Once when Dad worked for Logan's grocery in Donelson, there was an old black guy who hauled off the trash and out dated produce.  He was a very friendly old man and I took a liking to him. One Christmas season he sold Christmas trees in a vacant lot on Lebanon Rd near Donelson Pike. He sold cedar trees that he cut from the local fields and mistletoe he shot from trees. My brother Pat and I helped him as much as any 8 - 9 year old boys were capable of help- I think mostly we kept the fire going in the barrel.
     We only worked for a couple of days and had more fun than of hard work but after all was said and done he paid us for our help. The pay wasn't much and between us we probably were given a dollar apiece if that much. We were like any young kid with money- it was burning a hole in our pocket as we decided how to spend it.
      The closest store was a five and dime store on the corner of Donelson Pike.  This was the precursor of the dollar store- only everything was five or ten cents. We went to the store and browsed around looking for just the right thing. One of the items we chose was a bottle of cheap perfume to give to Mom for Christmas.  I know we bought something else but at the moment I can't remember.
     Opening presents on Christmas Eve was tradition in our family and Pat and I watched as Mom opened the gift that we had spent so much time choosing just for her. Looking back I think it is safe to say that the perfume was probably the most godawful stuff you ever smelled but Mom didn't let on.  She smiled as she opened the bottle and applied a little to her skin.  Even Dad commented on how good she smelled. She was happy.
     It was about that time in my life that I was allowed to join the Cub Scouts.  I went about being a Cub Scout with great diligence.  I went from Tiger Cub to Wolves to Bears and Webelos and along the way I accumulated a mass of gold and silver arrowheads as I completed the required task for each.
     Mom was the one who went to my pack meetings.  She was the one who stood beside me as I received my awards.  She was the one who made sure my patches were sewn to my shirt.  I think she was happy then- her firstborn was growing up.
     My formative years were spent in Mom's shadow.  Pat and I were her helpers.  We were taught to wash and iron clothes, peel, cook and mash potatoes, and make toast or pancakes.  I still had my days where a good whipping spoiled the whole thing but Mom was always there and I couldn't be mad at her for long.
      When we lived in Mt. Juliet there was a house up the hill that had burned to the ground and was abandoned.  Mom wanted to spruce up our home so she and I would walk up the road pulling a red Radio Flyer wagon that we used to haul back 5 or 6 concrete blocks. We used them to line both sides of the driveway and then we filled the cavity with dirt and Mom  planted flowers. The whole thing cost only time and a little work but she was proud of those flowers.
     I started working when I was 13.  We still lived in Mt Juliet and I rode to work with Dad on the weekends and holidays. - Mom liked to fish though she didn't often get the chance to go but come Mother's Day I took her fishing.  On the way home from work the night before Mother's Day Dad would stop so I could get Mom a one day fishing permit and two dozen crappie minnows.  Early the next morning Mom and I would walk to the creek and fish till the minnows were gone. This went on till I left for the Navy.  When I got back home we started up again for a few years. She was a lot of fun on those trips and she would tell anyone who would listen how many fish we caught.
     Linda and I left Tennessee in the late 1970's.  Our visits home were short and usually too far between but Mom was always happy to see us. Between visits we would have Mom come to visit us. Once in Florida we took her Disney World and to the beach.  She was like a little kid at Disney World and we seemed to enjoy watching her more than the exhibits. We always enjoyed her visits but like most people we were glad when it was time for her to go.
     To get back to the question - was Mom ever happy?  Yes, there was once a twinkle in her eye, a smile on her face and pride in her family.  I remember her laughter.  I have photos of Mom when she was young and in these I see there was once a young girl with dreams of being swept off her feet by prince charming and living in a fairy tale world - her future filled with the promise of wealth and happiness - days of sunshine and warm gentle breezes.
      Reality is not a dream.  You can't wish upon the first star you see at night and expect the wish to come true. Why she went sour on life I don't know.  Maybe she had a chemical imbalance from her medications, maybe she was slipping into the depths depression or senilty.  What ever the reason,  I lost a mother and my sons lost a grandmother years before she died.
     I loved my mother simply because she was Mom.  She wasn't always unhappy and she did love us.