Fairytales And Sea Stories

                 Fairytales and Sea Stories

    According to U.S. Naval jargon, the difference between a fairy tale and a sea story is one starts out " once upon a time " and the other starts with " this is no sh-t ".
 
    Dad was in the Navy during WWII.  He never talked too much about the war but he did have a few stories he would tell. I think they should be remembered.  You decide how they should start.
    Dad was part of an all volunteer group called the Naval Armed Guard.  He was a Gunners Mate and was stationed aboard several Liberty / Victory ships. During war time only military personnel can fire weapons and if caught would be treated as prisoners of war, civilians would be shot, so the Navy supplied Gunners Mates to the cargo ships who carried equipment and supplies worldwide.
    Dad was headquartered out of Treasure Island in San Francisco, Calif.  When waiting for an assignment the men would be taken aboard large Naval ships and spend time off shore performing gunnery practice. The guns they practiced on were breach loaders and when the breach was opened to reload, the shell inside would be ejected.  Evidently, members of the ship's company used the breach to hide their booze.  Dad said several times they would open the breach and a fifth of whiskey would fly through the air.  The bottle never hit the deck.

    Once while crossing a part of the Pacific Ocean, a member of the crew developed rather large boil on his backside.  The pain from the boil was incapacitating but there was no doctor aboard. After several days they passed a U.S. Navy ship going the opposite direction, they had a doctor capable of removing the boil. Now in war time it was against the rules for ships to stop in mid ocean as there might be enemy submarines around. Both ships had to keep moving in circles while the doctor was transferred and performed the operation - which normally should take no more than about 20 - 30 minutes.
    When the doctor arrived, the ships captain had things set up on one of the hatch covers on deck. The affected sailor was laid out with his pants pulled down and his butt in the air. The doctor looked at the boil and pulled out a large needle to knock the sailor out as this was more serious than first thought.  The boil was said to be as big as your thumb and the core had to come out. This is when they found out the sailor was more scared of the needle than the pain of the boil.  It took five men to hold the sailor down so the doctor could stick him with the needle.
    Normally the shot would take effect within a few minutes but the aforementioned sailor was not about to go down easy - he was one scared sailor. When the doctor realized the sailor was still kicking, he prepared and administered another shot to put him under.  Again the sailor fought the five guys holding him down.
    As Dad told the story,  the doctor gave the sailor four shots and the sailor was still kicking and screaming. The two ship's captains were getting antsy so the doctor had to get on with the operation. He told the five guys to hold sailor down -  he had already injected enough drugs to knock out four guys and the sailor was still fighting. The sailor was held down, the doctor lanced the boil and dug in and removed the large core. With the core removed the pain was gone and the sailor promptly passed out.  He was carried to his bunk where he slept for two days.


    While returning from some faraway place across the Pacific, a sailor enters the ship's bridge and asked the time of the man on watch.  After being informed of the time, the sailor, fully dressed and in a life jacket, said thanks, turned and walked out on the flying bridge and jumped into the sea. This was war time and ships were not to stop for any reason but the captain stopped, lowered a boat and rescued the sailor. When asked why he jumped the sailor claimed he had to get home and the ship was not going fast enough. The sailor was reprimanded and sent to his cabin.
    Two days later the sailor again jumped ship and tried to swim back to San Francisco.  Again the captain stopped, lowered a boat and brought the sailor aboard. The sailor again claimed he needed to get home fast ( Liberty ships had a top speed of around 15 knots  or 17 mph). The captain ordered him restricted to his cabin.
    The next day the sailor sneaked out of his cabin and jumped ship.  The captain begrudgingly rescued him. After chewing the sailors butt the captain ordered that he be placed under 24 hour guard in his cabin and if he were to jump ship again he would be allowed swim for home if he thought he could out swim the ship.
    Dad happened to be guarding the sailor when the ship finally hit port in San Francisco.  Mail was brought to the both of them. Dad was trying to decide which letter he would read first when the sailor stopped sorting his mail and handed a letter to Dad and asked him to read it. The letter informed the sailor that his mother and younger brother had died in a fire.  The date and time of the fire was the exact date and time when the sailor first jumped ship. He told Dad he felt something was wrong that night and he had to get home right away.


    After the war Dad got a job working on the ore boats on the great lakes.  He had his able bodied seaman papers and I think he was 2nd or 3rd mate.  After the war there were lots of men looking for work and the ore boats paid pretty good - plus it was seasonal as the lakes would freeze over in the winter so he would come home to Tennessee.


    Every crew of workers whether on a ship or in a factory has a smart ass / practical joker and they all have one guy who is maybe a little slow and winds up being the butt of the jokes. This story starts with such  a crew of men working on the bow of the ship as it was underway.
    The joker, we'll call him Al, decided to play a joke on Johnny who was the target of most of Al's jokes. Johnny was a couple of slices short of a full loaf but he was a good worker and good natured. Al told Johnny that the crew needed a bucket of nuts and bolts to finish the job and Johnny was to go to the engine room and get a bucket full of nuts and bolts. Johnny said " sure thing" and headed off to the engine room some about 1000 ft aft and down several decks. While Johnny was on his way to the engine room,  Al called the chief engineer and told him what was going on. The chief went along with joke and had a bucket full of old rusted, bent, and worn nuts and bolts waiting for Johnny.
    According to Dad, the bucket must have weighed around 40 - 50 lbs but Johnny hauled it up several flights of steel stairs to the main deck and then a 1000 ft to the bow of the ship. Tired and out of breath Johnny set the bucket down and told Al there it was. Al proceeds to tell Johnny that they had solved the problem while he was gone so they didn't need the nuts and bolts anymore and with that he picks up the bucket, throws it overboard and turns and walks away. Johnny was somewhat beside himself but shrugged his shoulders and followed the crew to the next job.
     Several weeks later the crew was again working on the bow and they needed a large 5ft monkey wrench. Back in the late 1940's monkey wrenches were made of cast iron and a 5ft one probably weighed 50 - 60 lbs. and cost about $100  or more. Al sends Johnny to the engine room to get a left handed monkey wrench ( for those who do not know, there are no right or left handed monkey wrenches ).
    Johnny goes to the engine room and asked the chief for a left handed monkey wrench, the chief, not being in on the joke,  just pointed to several wrenches hanging on the bulkhead and said pick one. Soon Johnny huffing and puffing walks up to the crew with the wrench on his shoulder and said here it is. Al continues with the joke and exclaims to Johnny that he had brought them a right handed wrench when they needed a left handed one. As Al fussed and stomped the deck Johnny had a confused look on his face and he asked Al if he was sure he couldn't use the wrench he was holding. Al kept up the charade to the point that Johnny said OK he would go get the correct wrench. With that Johnny turns and tosses the wrench overboard and went back to the engine room.
    Dad said it was some time before they played jokes on Johnny.


    Dad never talked about his time in the war except these few stories, I suspect he was more involved in the battles of the Pacific than we know. On his deathbed, when he was delirious he would shout out to shipmates of his past "watch out it's gonna blow".