In My Wildest Dreams

     

     Well it happened, not in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would get this far but I did. Today is May 5th 2022, and I am officially 75 years old.

     When I was young getting old was something we just didn't think about, we knew old age would eventually catch up with us but that was a long time away. I guess all young people thought like that even though old people walked among us like visions of our future, we acknowledged their existence while denying the fact that someday we would become like them. When Linda and I bought our first house way back in 1972 the loan was for 30 years, I was 25 at the time and horrified with the thought that I would live long enough to pay off the loan, I just couldn't believe that I would ever get that old. 

     One day I woke up and found out that I was 30, another time I woke up and I was 40, the word decade seemed to take on a whole new meaning. The funny thing about it though is that I never really felt any older, my body still functioned normally and the person I looked at in the mirror as I shaved in the morning was still that good looking guy I was ten years before. It took a while but it finally hit me that I was slowly getting older.

     Turns out the aging process is deceiving, it has something to do with the passage of time. Time actually is a constant thing, it is we who determine the speed at which time travels, if you want it to move fast it will spite you and move slow and if you want it to move slowly it will pass at phenomenal speeds, standing still is something it never does. Now that you understand how time works you can apply it to the aging process.

     When you are twenty your skin is tight and smooth, there are no crows feet lines at the corners of your eyes, your hair is all one color even though some people may dye it different colors. The muscles are firm, the eyes bright and all the joints work properly without complaint, your outlook on life is great. 

     Somewhere along the way, and it differs for everyone, things change, slowly at first but they change. Lines or creases in the skin start to appear on the face, they are called crow's feet and smile / frown lines, your skin takes on the texture of crepe paper. Bruises appear on your arms and the backs of your hands, obviously you hit something but you can't remember when or what. Grey hairs appear around the temples, some people's hair starts to thin out around 30, hair lines recede,  bald spots may appear and grow larger.  Later on you start to slow down and that causes the loss of muscle tone and maybe a small bulge in the tummy or you develop a really big tummy, when you stand up loud popping sounds explode from the knees or other joints. Time is slowly taking it's toll on the body and there is nothing you can do about it, you may forestall some of it with changes to the diet and exercise, maybe a little tummy tuck or tightening up the sagging skin in various places but nothing will  change the fact that you are getting old.

     All of these things happened to me and like most people I failed to see it happening, my brain denied what my body was trying to tell it and that often resulted in sore muscles and aching  joints. I have come to know the throbbing of arthritis, the snap, crackle and pop of worn out joints. Getting down on my knees and back up again can sometimes be an effort in futility and the reason I'm actually looking forward to knee replacement. After all of the pain and agony of the aging process the brain continues to say "sure you can do that, you've been doing it for years", I'm still waiting for the time when the body has the sense to override the brain. 

     And then there are the issues of memory loss, hearing loss and changes to other bodily functions. Sometimes it can get downright frustrating to walk into a room and wonder why you are there or trying to hold a conversation when you stumble trying to remember a word that is the key to the whole sentence. Kay frequently looks at me with an amazed look and says "don't you remember me telling you ........." and my answer is often "no" .

     Despite all of the issues with getting older I can highly recommend it, for one thing it is better than the alternative. I like this life so much that I have decided to stick around for another twenty years or so. I think I have a chance, I'm still standing on my own two feet, I don't spend my days in waiting rooms or take large quantities of pills. What I do have are grand kids that I want to see grow older, Kay and I have places to go and things to do and I have an Uncle Paul who turns 92 this year, I figure if he can make it that far I can too, only time will tell and as far as I know time is something I may have a lot of.