Frank and Jesse Together Again

 

     

     Kay has met all of my family, including cousins, east of the Mississippi River but my brother Pat and his wife Teresa live in Arizona and have made it clear they will not return to the south. Having     said that, the only way to see Pat and Tee was to go to Arizona.

     Pat and I talk on the phone every now and then but the last time we saw each other was about 2010. I'm the proverbial first born, the oldest of the family, Pat holds a close number two position being fifteen months younger than me. Growing up we were inseparable so much so that we were treated  more like twins, we got the same gifts for Christmas and often wore the same cloths. Where one of went the other was not far behind.

     Our parents named us Mike and Pat and those are the names we have gone by our entire lives but a few years ago I found out there was a time when we were known as Frank and Jesse. According to our cousin Beverly, when all three of us were little more than toddlers we lived in Gallatin, Tn. and we spent a lot of time playing together. Beverly says that her grandfather would see us running over to play and would say "here comes Frank and Jesse" which was a play on the notorious outlaws known as the James gang of the old west. Actually, I think his reference was more in line with the mischief we got into at such an early age, at any rate I kinda like it and even Pat seemed to get a kick out of it last

     Sometime in our teenage years our paths started to wander off in different directions, our meetings became short and less often especially in the years we spent in the Navy. When we returned home we became somewhat estranged and didn't see as much of each other, we didn't realize for many years that mom had a big part in that, she liked to keep things stirred up among us kids.

     Back in 2010 Pat and his wife Teresa were living in South Carolina when they got the itch to explore the west. Pat called up one day and said he was coming through town and wanted to stop for a visit, we reconnected then and have kept in touch since but only via phone calls and Christmas cards. So when Kay brought up the subject, we made plans. Turns out that Amtrak has a train to Arizona so to try something new we spent three days riding the 1800 miles to Tuscon. 

     Having not seen Pat in a few years I didn't really know what to expect. I remember the last time I saw him he was a little heavier and had a bit of grey in his hair. I was pleasantly surprised to see he had lost some weight and his hair had turned white, on the opposite side of the equation I have gained weight and my hair is certainly grey. I turn 75 in another six weeks or so and Pat will turn 74 in August so we both move a little slower and groan a lot more when we move but on the plus side - I'm still taller. I have been told I favor my father or at least his side of the family, on the other hand Pat favors mom's side of the family with a strong resemblance to grandpa even to having the stub of a cigar sticking in one side of his mouth.

     We spent a good deal of time reminiscing as our wives listened, we all laughed and in the end I didn't want to go. Three days is not enough time to catch up on the years we missed out on but three days was all we had and now we have another memory to look back on and for three days Frank and Jesse rode together again.

     Pat and Teresa Have made a beautiful home for themselves, the walls of the house are a tribute to their artistry, they both are artist in several fields. Pat presently enjoys working with beads in the style of the Native Americans of the southwest. Teresa works in stained glass and mosaics, her mosaic angels are beautiful, all of their work is beautiful.

     I joke about being the oldest and having gotten all of the good genes from our parents and how I have decided to be like our Uncle Paul and live well into my 90's. Well it could happen but the reality is that all of us are getting older and I often find myself wondering if the last time I saw one of my siblings will it be the last time, will the last time I talked to them be the last time. It still weighs heavy on me that I was the last person to talk to my brother Ronnie just an hour or two before he died and he was the youngest of us. Will I live into my 90's like Uncle Paul ? I really don't know but I don't want there to be any regrets.

     The night before we left I thought about what I would say to Pat when we parted, I ran several scenarios over and over in my head but when we got to the station all I could do was shake his hand and tell him to take care. I love my brother Pat, my brother Clint and sister Vickie, I don't know when or if we will see each other again so they will have to read this to know I do love them.

      

     

     

In My Wildest Dreams

     

     Well it happened, not in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would get this far but I did. Today is May 5th 2022, and I am officially 75 years old.

     When I was young getting old was something we just didn't think about, we knew old age would eventually catch up with us but that was a long time away. I guess all young people thought like that even though old people walked among us like visions of our future, we acknowledged their existence while denying the fact that someday we would become like them. When Linda and I bought our first house way back in 1972 the loan was for 30 years, I was 25 at the time and horrified with the thought that I would live long enough to pay off the loan, I just couldn't believe that I would ever get that old. 

     One day I woke up and found out that I was 30, another time I woke up and I was 40, the word decade seemed to take on a whole new meaning. The funny thing about it though is that I never really felt any older, my body still functioned normally and the person I looked at in the mirror as I shaved in the morning was still that good looking guy I was ten years before. It took a while but it finally hit me that I was slowly getting older.

     Turns out the aging process is deceiving, it has something to do with the passage of time. Time actually is a constant thing, it is we who determine the speed at which time travels, if you want it to move fast it will spite you and move slow and if you want it to move slowly it will pass at phenomenal speeds, standing still is something it never does. Now that you understand how time works you can apply it to the aging process.

     When you are twenty your skin is tight and smooth, there are no crows feet lines at the corners of your eyes, your hair is all one color even though some people may dye it different colors. The muscles are firm, the eyes bright and all the joints work properly without complaint, your outlook on life is great. 

     Somewhere along the way, and it differs for everyone, things change, slowly at first but they change. Lines or creases in the skin start to appear on the face, they are called crow's feet and smile / frown lines, your skin takes on the texture of crepe paper. Bruises appear on your arms and the backs of your hands, obviously you hit something but you can't remember when or what. Grey hairs appear around the temples, some people's hair starts to thin out around 30, hair lines recede,  bald spots may appear and grow larger.  Later on you start to slow down and that causes the loss of muscle tone and maybe a small bulge in the tummy or you develop a really big tummy, when you stand up loud popping sounds explode from the knees or other joints. Time is slowly taking it's toll on the body and there is nothing you can do about it, you may forestall some of it with changes to the diet and exercise, maybe a little tummy tuck or tightening up the sagging skin in various places but nothing will  change the fact that you are getting old.

     All of these things happened to me and like most people I failed to see it happening, my brain denied what my body was trying to tell it and that often resulted in sore muscles and aching  joints. I have come to know the throbbing of arthritis, the snap, crackle and pop of worn out joints. Getting down on my knees and back up again can sometimes be an effort in futility and the reason I'm actually looking forward to knee replacement. After all of the pain and agony of the aging process the brain continues to say "sure you can do that, you've been doing it for years", I'm still waiting for the time when the body has the sense to override the brain. 

     And then there are the issues of memory loss, hearing loss and changes to other bodily functions. Sometimes it can get downright frustrating to walk into a room and wonder why you are there or trying to hold a conversation when you stumble trying to remember a word that is the key to the whole sentence. Kay frequently looks at me with an amazed look and says "don't you remember me telling you ........." and my answer is often "no" .

     Despite all of the issues with getting older I can highly recommend it, for one thing it is better than the alternative. I like this life so much that I have decided to stick around for another twenty years or so. I think I have a chance, I'm still standing on my own two feet, I don't spend my days in waiting rooms or take large quantities of pills. What I do have are grand kids that I want to see grow older, Kay and I have places to go and things to do and I have an Uncle Paul who turns 92 this year, I figure if he can make it that far I can too, only time will tell and as far as I know time is something I may have a lot of.