A Quarters Worth Of Fun

     For some time now Kay and I have been getting together with her family on Thursday's to support her niece Jan who has Early Onset Alzheimer. We meet at a bowling center in Gainesville, bowl a couple of games, talk, and go to lunch where we talk some more. Thursday turns into a day long affair filled with joking, criticism, laughter and general merry making.
     I have never known an entire family to be so close as Kay's family is, what effects one touches  all, they laugh together, cry together, feel each others pain and rejoice in each others happiness. Their numbers have dwindled over the last few years but the loved ones they have lost are legends held in high esteem as their stories are told time and again at gatherings such as we have each Thursday. They truly are a family.
     Besides a little cockiness every now and then when bowling, I bring my four year old grandson Matthew to these outings. It started out that bringing Matthew was a way for he and I to have quality time together. The bowling alley is set up for young kids to enjoy bowling along with the adults, they have bumpers that raise up on either side of the alley and plastic dinosaurs that incline, the kids can place the ball on the head and push it down the tail on it's way down the alley to the pins. It amazes me that I can throw a 12 lb ball hard down the lane and knock over a few of the pins while Matthew gives a 6 lb ball a push so slight that it takes the ball forever to lumber down to the pins knocking over most of them in slow motion.
     Matthew was a hit from the beginning, little kids seem to brighten the day for older people and I found myself having to share him especially with Rick, Kay's nephew who is my age. There were times in the beginning when Matthew started out strong but quickly fell into a slump, seems his sleep habits were seriously out of kilter with the rest of the world and he just ran out of steam about half way through the bowling. We would look around and find him laying under a table sound asleep or he would develop an attitude and refuse to participate. I must admit disappointment on my part but I kept bringing him back, each week seemed to awaken a different Matthew but that is the way with little ones.
     Sometimes we pick up Kay's niece Jan who has taken a special liking to Matthew, he puts a smile on her face, at the bowling alley he will talk to her and even climb on her lap. According to Bob, Jan's Dad, Jan would be happy if all she had were Matthew and a dog. This is not to say that Matthew doesn't spread himself around, two weeks ago he was sitting in every body's lap and getting hugs from all. The other person who showers him with attention is Rick. Rick makes sure that Matthew is set up to bowl, he gets the dinosaur in position, helps Matthew get his ball set up and encourages him to push the ball on it's way then high fives and fist bumps with him regardless the outcome, it is fun to watch as Rick carefully positions the dinosaur at the right angle hoping to achieve a strike. Rick will ask Matthew about the toys he brings and listen as Matthew goes into great detail about their capabilities. The rest of us often wonder who is having more fun - Rick or Matthew.
     Today was like any other Thursday, we picked up Matthew,  Kay asked him questions about how high he could count and sang the ABC song with him. He told Kay he was going to save some money and buy a skateboard, Kay asked what color the board would be he said blue, his favorite color. Kay said she thought red was his favorite color which prompted Matthew to say he had three favorite colors, red , blue and green.We picked up Jan and as I drove I could hear Jan talk to him. When we got to the bowling alley  Kay and I grabbed the bowling balls and I had Matthew hold Jan's hand while we walked to the building, it was a beautiful sight.
     Once inside it wasn't long before Matthew's giggles were heard. From somewhere, I think from Pam ( Jan's sister ) Matthew came up with a quarter. Seems like we were all showing Matthew different things to do with a quarter, from flipping it to spinning it and even doing magic tricks with it. He got pretty adept with the magic tricks, he would perform the trick where he would hide the coin in his palm, he would run around showing everyone, giggling the whole time. He learned how to balance the quarter on the end of his finger, then his nose and forehead. Who would have thought a simple quarter could generate so much fun for a little boy. He started out with one quarter but lost it, Pam gave him another then he found the one he lost and as we headed out to lunch she gave him two more for his skateboard.
     Matthew was very active today, more so than he had been before, it was like he was on a sugar high. He was all over the place climbing up in laps, getting and giving hugs to everyone but when I strapped him in the car seat for lunch he was asleep before we got out of the parking lot. When we arrived at the restaurant I had to carry him in, he sat on his chair and leaned on me still sleeping. About forty five minutes later he woke up and ate his hot dog.
     When were headed to Jan's house she asked where her bowling ball was, Kay told her it was in the front seat because there was no room in the backseat. This answer prompted Matthew to say that we needed to get a  "monster truck" then we would have more room. It was Matthew's day, it was Jan's day.
      Alzheimer is slowly taking Jan away from those she loves and who love her. It is not an easy thing to watch a loved one slowly slip away but that is what is happening to Jan, there are times the disease seems to be evolving quickly so every moment is cherished, all the family can do is watch, hope and pray. It is not surprising that a small child can bring so much laughter, so many smiles and such happiness into such a dire situation, it is a gift children have and they are good at it. I am proud of Matthew for making so many people happy and I don't mind sharing him with family.

     Update - Kay and I were at Matthew's T-Ball game yesterday, Marie told us that Matthew shared his quarters with his sister MJ - he gave her two of them.
     









 
















   

Not Long Ago

     Not long ago, there was a world less hectic, prior to World War Two it was hard to find women in the work force, men even held clerical jobs and women were housewives and Moms. WWII put an end to this life style as women were needed to take the place of the men who went off to war. When the war was over the women didn't want go back to being housewives and the men wanted to be more than clerks. The war was over and America entered a new era of prosperity but even these changes were not sufficient to completely ignore a way of life that sired the "Greatest Generation".
     I know it's probably hard to comprehend  but close your eyes and try to imagine almost nonexistent traffic on the streets of your community on a Sunday, think about having every weekend off work and a five day forty hour work week. Would you believe that in 1950's the only shopping allowed on Sunday was at grocery stores, drug stores and gas stations. Well that's the way things used to be.
     Many communities had what was called "blue laws" which simply stated that all businesses would close on Sunday, the exceptions would be gas stations, grocery stores and drug stores. With blue laws in effect people had leisure time available to them to go to church, visit friends or relatives, go on outings or just stay at home and do nothing. Dad had every Sunday and half a day Tuesdays as his days off during the week, he would use the time to visit our grandparents and as we got older we would go to the lake.
     Traffic on the roadways on Sunday was extremely light , the downtown area in Nashville was almost dead silent. Out in the suburbs things would start to move after church let out but traffic never really got heavy as it would during the week.
     Sometime in the early 1970's things started to change little by little. Up until then it was not unheard of for someone to be born, raised, work and die without leaving the county they were born in. People would often get a job with a company and stay with it until they retired, the companies had a better appreciation for the employees, the employees enjoyed their work and were loyal to the company. The company provided health care for the employee and his family at no cost and set aside retirement funds. Chain stores were unheard of at that time, the stores that served the community were owned and operated by people who lived in the community, often the business was handed down from generation to generation.
     People would leave home or go to bed at night without locking doors. Children could roam the neighborhood without fear of strangers, they used words like "yes sir, no mam, please and thank you", they showed respect towards their elders
     I remember the old joke about Indians, "When the white man came to this country Indian tribes roamed the lands, the women did all of the chores while the warriors hunted and fished all day, the white man decided he could improve on all that". Well, someone decided that they could indeed improve on the existing system and set out to prove it.
     At the time there were stores that specialized in a particular product, stores that sold only shoes or suits while others sold every day clothes for children or adults, there were stores that specialized in women's clothing and stores that sold nothing but hardware. Shopping malls were unheard of and "strip mall" was not yet a part of the vocabulary but then along came the big chain discount stores.
     I remember the first such store was a company called "Zayers", they were the forerunner of K Mart. Zayers sold every thing from clothing to spark plugs, gold fish to TVs, they sold it cheap and they were open for business seven days a week. Competition for the chain stores were the more  established stores such as J C Penney, Sears and Roebucks who had started in business in the mid 1800's, they sold quality merchandise and stood behind what they sold but most of all they adhered to the policies of the communities they served, they closed on Sunday.
     The blue laws of the community forbid any business considered non - essential from opening on Sunday, those that did open were subject to fines of hundreds of dollars per day and even up to fifteen hundred per day. Zayer was new and exciting, everyone wanted to see the wave of the future consequently Zayer took in a couple of thousand dollars in the first hour of business, they gladly paid the fines every week until the blue laws were struck down.
     This was the early 1970's and the nation was standing on the edge of the future. It didn't happened over night, it took years to finally come a round. First it was "strip malls" a collection of stores in one long building fronted by a giant parking lot, then it was the "shopping mall" which housed a collection of stores under one roof. Every state had a big shopping mall that was the biggest in the state then someone built the biggest mall in the south, the north and finally in the nation. Every section of town had there own shopping mall but there was always one that was bigger than the rest and they all were open for business seven days a week closing only for Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Years Day.
      Life styles began to change, prosperity gave people with a case of the "I wants" the ability to have whatever they wanted so companies increased their inventories which increased the need for more employees which gave the "I wanters" more money to spend. Now the companies want to give customers whatever they want when they want it so they went to a seven day work week and twenty four hours a day.
     Back in the 50's and 60's TV broadcast on three channels about fifteen hours a day, then in the 1980's satellite and cable TV came along with 150 channels twenty four hours a day, many of those channels were shopping channels offering all kinds of products available for $19.99 with free overnight shipping. Then along comes the computer and the world wide web, you no longer needed to get out of bed to go shopping, if a product could be bought in a store it was for sale on the internet.
     Companies were created to bring together products from every manufacturer, warehouses were built to accommodate huge inventories, buildings of a million square feet  employing hundreds of people working seven days a week twenty four hours a day are strategically located around the country. Workers can choose which shift they want, 1st, 2nd or 3rd, they can work four ten hour days or four twelve hour days or work rotating shifts, overtime was rampant. Many companies just work a flat twelve hours a day six days a week and then ask employees to come in for a few hours on the seventh day.
     Employee loyalty declined as benefits declined, companies in an attempt to cut cost decided that staffing a facility was easy, employees were a dime a dozen turn over rates were high but the work load didn't slow down.
     The world as I knew it has changed, the "rat race" eluded to in the 50's & 60's pales in comparison to today's society. Some people work all night and sleep all day, families often meet at the front door as the parents work different shifts, Mom may be the one to put the kids to bed and Dad wake them and get them ready for school but this is often life in the 7/24 world we live in today.
     Every generation experiences life style changes that differ from those of their parents but the "Greatest Generation and the Baby Boomers" seems to have had more than their share of growth spurts. Starting with the "Space Race" the growth of technology was rapid and seemingly never ending, the greatest thing since sliced bread today is obsolete next week. The way things are going this fast paced life style is going to be a long time slowing down.
     Is it no wonder that as people age they often speak of the "Good Ol' Days" with fondness and longing, is it no wonder that they try to recapture their youth by dreaming of days gone by. All of these changes mean little to some of us old people, we may complain about this new world but we will be the first to embrace it rather than the alternative. Personally I plan to fight for the last breath I draw.
    So the next time you see an old person sitting and staring aimlessly at nothing in particular with a sadness in  their eyes, ask yourself - are they dreaming of a time long gone or are they thinking about what they are going to miss when they leave this world.
     Just remember, one day you will be the old person staring aimlessly at nothing in particular, will your past be worth holding on to ?