The Last One

                                                             The Last One


     Getting older means change, change in your life style because you are not as good as you once were and change because some things are just not as important as they used to be or some things become more important than others. Whatever changes Linda and I were experiencing in the spring of 2005 had come to a head, we had reached that point in our life that we knew we needed to make one more change. We had a 15 year old house that needed a lot of work and it still would not be the house we wanted so the obvious answer was to sell it.
      Over the last 38 years of marriage we had owned seven homes and accumulated some 27 + addresses so a condition of sale was that the new house was to be the last house we would own, the one that we would be carried out of feet first. So in June of 2005 we found a new home that would be the last one.
      We bought a house that Linda liked, it was smaller, one level and had trees in the yard. It was just the two of us and one loud and irritating bird that Linda loved so we downsized. The bird got sick and died suddenly so we rescued Licking Lizzy, a black Lab / Cocker mix. Lizzy was one of the first projects that I undertook in our new home, we used to laugh and tell people she was our $3000 dog, the rescue group charged us about $50 but I had to install a chain link fence around the yard, lay 13 pallets of sod and install a storm door with a doggy door, Lizzy is now working on 13 or maybe 14 years old and she may yet out live me. Over the next few years Linda planted shrubs and flowers and I built her a covered deck on the back so she could sit and watch the birds, squirrels and Lizzy. It was her domain, her kingdom, she was deserving of the happiness it brought her.
     We had good times there and many memories were made, things were as they should be. We were happy but then life caught up with us and kinda got in the way. Turns out this was Linda's last house and after she passed the house took on a new feeling so to speak, nothing was the same anymore and though Linda was no longer there the memory of her was everywhere.
     Once again my life changed, I had been kicked in the gut and didn't know which way to turn so I sought the help of people who were walking down the same path.
     I met Kay in a grief support group, Wayne her husband of 35 years had passed away from cancer a week before Linda. Over time we became close and fell in love and eventually married, some thought it was too soon for that but then they were not walking in our shoes so they had no understanding of our feelings and would not until the time came for them to walk their own path of loneliness and despair.
     Kay had similar feelings towards her house that I had for mine so she sold it and after a long search we purchased a fixer upper that took us about a year before we could move in to it and we are still putting the final touches on the inside. The main thing is that it is "our" house and though we still think of our loved ones often the memories we make now are ours.
     Now it was moving time, a time to let go of a life that will never be forgotten only moved in to the shadows of memories from long ago. Just as Kay did when she sold her house, I cleaned out things that wouldn't fit into the new house, things that no longer fit into my life. I decided to give the kids the things that belonged to Linda that I was holding as an inheritance and then we moved into our new home.
     Well, I sold the house on Solomon Dr. the other day. It was hard to leave it behind but somehow I don't think Linda would mind.
     Ironically this new home is also the last one , the one they will carry us out of or at least carry me out seeing as how I am older than Kay. Until the final day comes for either of us to be carried out we will make a new life for ourselves. It is our life now filled with memories of the past and hopes for the future. Past memories occasionally rise up giving us moments of sorrow or happiness but we have each other to love and hold on to.
     To the naysayers I say - one day you may find yourself in similar circumstances, I hope that you find a pathway that makes you happy.