" When we recall the past, we usually find it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness "

Bob Hope

Sunday, September 19, 2021

Tidbits of Thoughts and Memories

 



     Grandpa Riggan was a farmer of the old school, he plowed his fields walking behind a team of mules, sowed his grains walking the plowed field and with a flip of his wrist scattered the seeds of a new crop. Small plants grown from seeds over the winter were called slips and had to be carefully planted by hand, this required him to walk bent over and individually place the slip in the ground.

     He raised pigs that were born from his sow, the pigs foraged in the pasture and woods. To keep the pigs from tearing up the fields too bad in their quest for roots he would put a ring in their nose. To do this he first lured them in to a feeding pen by putting feed in a trough. As the pigs were busy eating Grandpa would walk over and grab one by the ear and lift it up on it's hind legs, he had a special pair of pliers that held an open ring, he would quickly insert the ring into the pigs nose and squeeze the ring against the cartilage of the nose then pull the pig to the gate and push it out of the pen. This ring didn't really hurt the pig until it started rooting with his nose but you would think they had been shot from all of the squealing they were doing. 

     I would watch this process from afar because when I was barely walking I wandered out in the paddock where a sow was feeding a bunch of young piglets, I reached down to touch one and the sow bit me. More than seventy years later I still carry an inch long scar on the back of my right hand.

     Grandpa also had two cows that he milked by hand everyday. Even though the cows had been foraging on grass in the pasture all day they would return to the barn at night and walk in to their stall where Grandpa would have corn waiting in their feed troughs. While the cow ate Grandpa sat on a stool and pulled on their tits as milk streamed  in to a pail, when he was done he poured the milk into a special "milk jug" that was picked up by the local creamery for processing.

     Being an farmer of the old school was hard work, Grandpa was up before dawn feeding the live stock and after breakfast he hitched up the mules and headed out to the fields. He was lean yet muscular, he walked from the time he got out of bed till he climbed back in it. If he was lucky it would rain every now and then  giving him a day off. Regardless of the weather Sunday was his day of rest after he milked the cows and fed the livestock, it was a day when he went to church and enjoyed his family who visited every Sunday as long as he lived. I never knew him to be sick with so much as a cold, he had a double hernia and couldn't hear very well but that was it. In the end he retired in his late 70's, one day not long after retiring his heart just gave out.


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     I often find myself comparing the times I grew up in with the times I live in now, the difference is  stark in my opinion. For instance the welfare system was put in place in 1935 and it has helped many poor families but it has also been riddled with graft and corruption, it was never meant to be a way of living but there are those who thought otherwise and found way to cheat the system.

     Now I can't say that we were poor, maybe we didn't have a lot of money and for sure we weren't on welfare. Dad was the bread winner, Mom was a housewife and we five kids had to be fed everyday, had to have a roof over our heads and clean clothes on our backs and new shoes at the beginning of every school year. Dad balked at the expense of sending us to school, new shoes, new clothes ( what mom didn't sew ). School supplies consisted of writing tablets or notebook paper, pencils, erasers, crayons all the standard fare for staring school and everything we needed Dad supplied. As for lunch we had PBJ or baloney sandwiches wrapped in wax paper, a couple of cookies for desert then wrapped up in a brown paper bag. When we didn't have the makings for lunch Dad begrudgingly gave us the 25 cents to buy lunch in the school cafeteria. We had everything we needed and never went hungry.

     So fast forward to today, school systems feed kids a free lunch and sometimes a breakfast because they can't get it at home, they even continue the program in the summer months when school is out. As for school supplies the local TV stations support a program called "stuff the bus" where people are encouraged to purchase backpacks and stock them with all sorts of school supplies and after all of this teachers have to dig into their own pockets to purchase class room supplies.

     From time to time I wonder just what has changed, I understand there are less people on welfare than ever before, wages are up, jobs are plentiful so why are their so many in need ? It used to be "pride before the fall", maybe today some don't mind the fall because they have no pride ?


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     There is a poem written by a A.E. Housemen "When I was one and twenty" it's a short poem that deals with naivety of youth. Naivety of youth is something every older person sees everyday in the youth of the day that reminds them that somethings never change.

     I can honestly say that when I was one and twenty I thought I was ready to tackle life head on, there was nothing else to learn because I knew it all and there was no sense in anybody trying to tell me otherwise because I wouldn't have listened. I think this is true about most young people although there are some that are wise for their age.

     I turned 21 during my third year in the Navy, I had recently returned from my first tour in Vietnam, Linda and I had not yet been married for a year and had been separated for half of that. Three months later I would volunteer to go back to Vietnam because we couldn't afford to live in San Diego. There was a war on, I and thousands of other young people were involved in it, sadly many of them would not survive to see one and twenty even though they were as cocksure as me.

     We all make mistakes on our way through life, turning twenty one is often no help and many people don't seem to find that out till years later, looking back I can say I was a bit of a slow learner. I'm an old man now and I see young people full of spit and vinegar and I have to wonder how long it will take them to realize they're not as smart as they think.  


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     My two grandfathers were as different as night and day. Their only similarity is that they were my grandfathers. Grandpa Riggan was older than Grandpa Wade, he was also smaller in stature, Grandpa Wade was louder and more vociferous while Grandpa Riggan was quiet and laid back ( I inherited that trait ).

     Earlier today Kay and I were driving around rural Georgia and as we passed through a small town, I saw a sign advertising "live wrestling" every Friday night, the sign brought back a memory or two. Back in the early or mid fifties my uncle Sam bought a small black and white TV for Grandpa Riggan, up until then they had only heard of TV and had very little idea of all the programs available to them. Granny found the soap operas pretty quick and it wasn't long until they found live wrestling.

     Live wrestling was not new but it was new to TV and for some reason Granny and Grandpa were both hooked on live wrestling. Every Friday or maybe it was Saturday night "Live" wrestling from the Hippodrome in Nashville was shown on TV and come that night they waited impatiently till the program came on about ten o'clock at night which was way past their bedtime. Just before the fight started a couple who were friends with them would come in to watch wrestling with them. 

     This is where things got a little weird at least to a young six or seven year old grandson. Up to this point I had never seen my Grandfather upset or excited about anything, Granny was a different story but even she got excited to say the least. There I was standing beside my Grand parents when all of a sudden one of them would jump up, shake their fist at the screen and loudly yell out "hit him again" or "kick him, kick him". I think the first time I ran and hid scared to death. 

     Grandpa Wade on the other hand was a sports addict particularly for baseball and football. He was so intense at watching a ballgame on TV that he could watch it with his eyes closed, a trait that we kids quickly learned about. A Sunday visit usually found Grandpa holding court in front of the TV, telling his stories to all who cared to listen, at certain points in the story laughter would break out even from Grandpa although uncle Harold always laughed the loudest and hardest.

     When the ballgame came on brother Pat and I would watch a little and after a while Grandpa and uncle Harold would start to dose off. Once the snores became louder than the TV we would change the channel, within moments Grandpa would snap awake "who changed the channel, turn that game back on I was watching that". 

     I looked up to my Grandfathers, regardless of their stature they were both instrumental in the formation of my life. I have inherited traits from both of them, I have Grandpa Riggan's laid back personality and Grandpa Wade's gift of storytelling but when it came to TV they were giants in their own rights.


                                                         

      

Coming Home

 




     When I went to Vietnam the first time Linda and I had been married for less than a six months. She had decided to stay with my parents while I was away, staying with my family had it's ups and downs but Linda settled in to her new life. She got a job at Becker's Bakery just down the street from where Dad worked and they often rode together.

     Getting to know my siblings was ok especially getting to know Clint and Ronnie, when things got a little overwhelming they seemed to know when she needed to get away. Getting to know Vicky had it's ups and downs, I think their relationship didn't really mature until much later, Vicky was just starting into her teenage years and could be a handful at times. Mom helped Linda enhance her cooking skills and taught her a lot about sewing an art she excelled in for the rest of her life. Dad was proud of his daughter in law and took opportunities to show her off.

     All was not always cheerful and bright, Mom could be testy at times and Dad had a drinking problem. Linda wrote to me about how she would be scared of Dad's driving when he had been drinking. Being the man I was at the time I immediately fired off a letter to Dad and chewed him out for driving Linda around when he was drinking, in retrospect I should have calmed down before writing the letter but I didn't. This created some hard times for Linda.

     When I finally got back to the states I was anxious to get back home and bring Linda to California but the Navy wanted me to start six weeks of KP before going on leave. It took some arguing but I won out and got leave. During all of this I would call home and say I was getting leave then call back and say I wasn't then call back and say I was, in the mean time things were getting a little testy at home so Linda decided to take things in to her own hands.

     I finally got leave and called home to say I was on my way, Mom answered the phone and told me Linda had loaded the car and was own her way to California. Mom got on the phone with the highway patrol and they found Linda somewhere west of Nashville. The story Linda told me was that she was so upset and mad that when the trooper stopped her she rolled down the window and defiantly said "what". The trooper was understanding and gave her my flight number, she turned around and met me at the airport.

     We probably should have headed straight out for California but we went home instead, I returned to a cool reception. The next day we headed out, halfway to Memphis we heard on the radio that Dr. Martin Luther King had been killed in Memphis and riots were starting to form. We made it through Memphis an hour before the curfew started, then we headed on to Little rock where again we beat out the curfew. We didn't stop that night until somewhere in Oklahoma. 

     Day's later we arrived in California and went looking for a place to stay. We found a place and the realtor started filling out the paperwork then he asked us for a $100 for the first months rent and another $200 for deposit. We didn't have all of the money, Linda was devastated and started to cry the realtor took pity on us and let us move in with out any deposit.


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     The second time I returned from Vietnam was in the spring of 1969, Linda had gone back to Florida while I was overseas and was working for the local newspaper.

     I caught a flight from San Diego to Orlando, it was a night flight and believe it or not there were few passengers. During this time there had, for years, been several high jackings of passenger planes to Cuba. Several passengers were of obvious Spanish decent and the thought crossed my mind that I just spent seven months in Vietnam and now I could be on my way to Cuba. As it turned out we landed in Orlando with out a hitch, Linda was waiting for me and we spent the night in a local motel. A couple of days later we started our drive back to San Diego.

     Several months later I was discharged from the Navy in San Diego and was faced with a long drive back to Tennessee. Linda had been ill and had a surgical procedure she wasn't able to drive as yet. We had a 1962 Chevy which we loaded up with all our worldly possessions including a large trunk strapped to the roof.

     I had a friend from Tennessee who had broken his arm and was going home on leave, he opted to ride with us and help with the driving. Back then I was more interested in getting from point "A" to point "B" than stopping to look at anything in between, Linda on the other hand was interested in the view and the places we could see.

     Our first issue was crossing the lower Sierra mountains out of California. the climb was too much for the car and it overheated, fortunately for us a friendly state trooper came along and helped us out, overheating plagued us the entire trip. 

     When we got into Arizona Linda insisted we see the Grand Canyon so I relented and we made the detour. I planned on spending  a couple of hours but we wound up spending the whole day, after spending the night in a local motel it was a race back to Tennessee.


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     I was 18 when I went in the Navy, I was the first to leave home, my youngest sibling was my brother Ronnie he was seven when I left. Returning on leave was usually a big deal especially for Ronnie. On one of my returns from Vietnam it was quite late when Linda and I got in Mom was up and waiting for us Dad had not gotten home as yet, Ronnie had fallen asleep waiting for us. I went into Ronnie's bedroom and sat on the side of his bed and woke him up, he rubbed his eyes saw it was me then he gave me the biggest hug, that night I was a proud brother.


     There have been many homecomings over the years each with it's own joys and sorrows. Kay and I have been back several times now, it's different from years ago. Home as I remember is no longer there, my family has gotten smaller the places I remember have changed or disappeared. Time has taken it's toll or progress has moved things along - take your choice. The important thing is that even though I have a home in Georgia now Tennessee is my real home every where I have been has been an adventure in the scheme of life.