Promises Kept

     Back in 2005. Linda and I got to looking around at all of the repairs our house needed and after totaling everything up, including my time to do the work, we decided to sell it and buy one more home. We bought our new home, it had everything Linda wanted, ranch style, gentle slope to the yard and trees filled with birds, squirrels and butterflys. Linda was happy.
     We didn't have a dog at that time, which suited me just fine, but Linda did have the most annoying and loud parrot you could imagine, Mango was it's name because it's coloring resembled that of a mango. During the move we left  Mango with Clay, a few days after Linda brought him home he died, possibly from stress brought on by the move, Linda was devastated. It wasn't long till she was wanting a dog to keep her company while I worked long ours.
     I grew up with pets, more specifically dogs, Linda and I had owned six or eight none of whom died of old age. I didn't need another pet, I didn't want another pet, more than anything,I didn't want to bury another pet. Linda pleaded  with me and even cried, there were some things that I could never deny her, this is where Lizzy comes in.
     Lizzy was a rescue dog, a mixture of Labrador and Cocker Spaniel, if I remember correctly the rescue group gave her the name Lizzy and her nickname "Licking Lizzy". The dog was so happy to see people that her tail went to wagging on the rear end and her tongue went to licking on the other end, she had the longest tongue anybody had ever seen.
     We kinda got the cart before the horse with Lizzy, the rescue group charged us $50.00 including shots and while Lizzy was going to be an indoor dog she did have moments where she needed to go out and that meant one of us had to go with her. That $50.00 dog got more expensive as the days went on, first it was a long plastic coated wire tethered to a screw in the ground, that was about $30.00 then because we didn't want to have her on a leash we installed a chain link fence for about $2,000.00. The fence worked fine as far as keeping Lizzy in the yard but every time she went out she brought in a lot of dirt so we laid in about 14 pallets of Bermuda sod for another $1,500.00, then because we didn't want to be up and down to let her in and out of the door I installed a storm door with a doggy door inset for another $150.00. Our $50 rescue dog wound up costing around $3,800 in the first month, none of these numbers are exact because that was some fifteen years ago but they are close enough, I was just glad she was a rescue dog.
     Lizzy became Linda's constant companion, always by her side ready to be scratched behind the ear or sneaking a good licking of Linda's hand or cheek. Lizzy was not what I would call a bright dog, about the only thing she seemed to be trainable for was when to eat, beyond that she was about as dumb as a brick but Linda loved her.
     The years went by all to quickly, I changed jobs, got laid off then retired. Linda and I did our best to enjoy my retirement, I went fishing every now and then, we went on weekly drives visiting state parks. We visited my sister when she was working in south Georgia and Linda's sister in Florida. Life was good but lurking around the corner was a darkness waiting to strike when we were least expecting it.
     Late in 2011 Linda's health started to decline, her role of taking care of me for years soon reversed to me taking care of her. Through the next two and a half years I became Linda's caregiver, if she needed something I got it for her, if she needed to go somewhere I took her. Lizzie's roll never changed, she never left Linda's side, she was always ready for Linda's hand to scratch her ear or ruffle her fur, she was eager to lick a finger or hand.
     Linda had a lot of things on her mind in her last weeks and days mostly it was concern for those she was about to leave, she was worried for me because I would be alone for the first time in my life, she was worried for Clay that he would have someone to love, she was worried that MJ would not remember her and she worried what would become of Lizzy. I went about putting her mind at ease, Clay and I were adults and would deal with what came our way, as for MJ and her unborn brother Matthew I started writing stories about Linda so that when they got older they could read about her and know that she loved them.
     A few days before Linda passed she told me she was worried about Lizzy, that is when I made Linda a promise, I would take care of Lizzy for her remaining days. Lizzy became my responsibility, feeding, haircuts, vet visits whatever she needed I made it happen.
     After a time I met and fell in love with Kay. We were kindred spirits in many ways, her husband Wayne had passed away a week before Linda and she had a coon hound named Boone that was more Wayne's dog than hers, we became family. Boone became sick a couple of years back and Kay had to put him down, Lizzie's time had not come yet.
     In a couple of months Linda will been gone six years, Lizzy's health has taken a turn for the worse over the last year or more, her hearing is almost gone, her eyes are clouded with cataracts, large lumps are scattered around her body, two of which have been removed in the last six months and yet she finds it more difficult to get around. These last few days she has not eaten much, she limps and spends her time laying in one spot or another.
     As I contemplate having her put down I think about my promise to Linda and wonder if I have done enough for Lizzy. Those same thoughts have crossed my mind many times since Linda's passing, could I have done more for her, was there something else I could have done to make her last days better. All I can say is I think I did the right things, I hope I did the right things. Now I am thinking these same thoughts about Lizzy, did I give her the best care I could have. I think these thoughts about Linda and Lizzy will haunt me forever.
     Today is May 29, 2020, Lizzy is not improving, the day I have been dreading has arrived, I didn't want Lizzy to suffer any more pain so I had her put down. In reality I have a soft heart, having Lizzy put down has weighed heavy on my mind, Kay senses my feelings, she tells me that when she had to put Boone to sleep it was like she had lost the last part of her husband Wayne even though she still had her daughter Katie, for the last few years it had been Wayne, Boone and her, now it was just her. Kay put into words the thing I had been thinking, Lizzy was left in my care until it was time for her to once again join Linda, like Kay I felt the last part of Linda leave with Lizzy.
     I have done my best to keep my promises to Linda, memories of her fill pages of this blog, I did the best I could to give Lizzy a good life. I hope Linda and Lizzy find each other in Heaven, it would make them both very happy.