Getting Old

 

     I have come to the conclusion that getting old is only a matter of mind over matter. If you spend your days sitting in a rocker on the front porch waiting to meet your maker then it doesn't matter that you're getting old but if you find a good reason to get out of bed every morning then you don't mind getting old. I choose to find reasons for getting out of bed every morning. Having reached the age of 78 years and several months, I don't think I'm bragging but, I have come to consider myself somewhat of an expert on getting old. For one thing it's not what I thought it was going to be like. Upon looking around I'm better off than a lot of guys my age and a damn sight better than some who are younger and I still have my hair though it is a distinctive shade of grey but then it makes me look very distinctive.

     Now don't misunderstand, in addition to the grey hair, I'm a little overweight, have one bad knee, lots of arthritis, tend to get up slowly at times and my skin has the consistency of crepe paper but I have a heart that some fifty year olds would love to have. While my body seems to have getting old down to a science my brain is still trying to figure out what is happening. I can remember things from when I was barely out of diapers but often can't remember what I had for lunch until sometime the next day. It's like I have been around for so long that my brain is filled with every thing I have ever known and it's filled with the memories of every day of my life so that it is clogged up and operating slower than it did years ago. I have plenty of "senior moments" yet I'm still quite sharp, I think that's because I keep it busy doing things. Here's the thing about the aging brain, if you are one of those that don't mind getting old then the mind stays young. My brain tells me all the time that I'm still in my twenties, "go ahead, you can do that, you've done this plenty of times, no guts no glory", in the mean time my body is laughing at me.

     The culprit for all for all the issues with the body and brain are the eyes. No matter what the brain and body are feeling it's the eyes that see the things that each require as substance to keep them going.It's like the eyes see a double decker cheese burger with fries, the brain says "wow that looks delicious" and the body says 'I'm starving, let's eat" then the body gets stuffed and gas and the brain says you're the one who ate it all and the argument starts. The eyes see things the way they once were and trick the brain into believing what they see then the brain tricks the body into believing it's all possible and when everything goes wrong because the body and brain bought into the charade the eyes play the innocent part. I still see the world through youthful eyes, blue skies, warm summer breezes, sunshine and lollipops, it doesn't matter that it's cold and rainy outside, I look for the good things because I am an optimist.

     Nobody prepares you for getting old, not that you would listen when you're in your twenties. There  are instruction books about aging but few ever read them because they are in denial even when they really are old. I never dreamed I would get this old I thought somewhere in my sixties would be the max for me but as you can see I'm pushing 80 and looking forward to getting there. Actually, I have decided that if my uncle Paul can make it well into his 90's then I might have a chance myself so now the race is on, 95 here I come. 

     Back in 1959 a TV program called "The Twilight Zone" aired and ran for a few years. It was a science fiction type show dealing with life in a different reality, sometimes it was scary, sometimes just weird and sometimes thought provoking. Most of all it beat watching Lawrence Welk so I liked it. All this talk about getting old made me remember a couple of particular episodes. In one episode people were born old and aged young, it was great being born retired and able to do all the things you want to do. Another episode took place in an old folks home, it was visited by a man who told the residents they could be young again and convinced them it could happen so most followed him. They went off to play a game called "kick the can", eventually only the laughter and cries of young children could be heard as they ran off in the darkness. Those two episodes have stood out in my memory banks for years but I really should watch them again as a refresher. 

     So when you get to the age that your body aches and makes noises when you move, when you walk a little bent over or shuffle your feet, when you have several doctors and a drawer full of pills just remember it's all in your mind and how you see life will determine how you're going to spend the rest of it. The desire to stay young is in all of us, feed it, you'll get old soon enough.

     

More Short Memories

 

     It's time to start another place to write short memories that are so easy to forget unless they are quickly written down. It's also a place to write short memories that I may have already written down previously and I forget if, when or where I have written them, so if you happen to read something here and then see it in a previous story just remember that I'm 78 + years old, very forgetful and I ain't gonna get any better so just do like I do, learn to live with it because it doesn't help getting mad.

     

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     When I turned 18, I was able to make decisions without having to ask permission from my parents and what I was going to do after high school was the first big decision I had to make. I knew that I wanted to join the service and the Air Force recruiter had come to our school and given us a test that I did really well on and he wanted me real bad, then I went down to sign up for the draft with a friend who wanted to stop by and see the Navy recruiter while he was in town and low and behold they wanted me also. 

     Now I had another decision to make that determination was to invite the recruiters over to talk with me and my parents. The night the Air Force recruiter came dad didn't come home till real late. The night the Navy recruiter came dad was home early. When the recruiter left dad looked at me and said " if you needed to jump out of the airplane how far can you fly, I said I can't fly" then he said " if the ship sinks how far can you swim and I said a long ways" - I joined the Navy.

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Itchy Feet

 

     Not long after Kay and I were married or maybe it was a little before, my memory not being what it used to be, Kay gave me what appeared to be a large coin. It was to be used for marking the pocket when shooting pool, many players carried and used something similar but this one was different. It was round, double sided and each side had it's own design, one side was of a clock face with no hands, the other was a compass. When she gave it to me she explained the meaning of the designs, the compass meant that we could go in anywhere we wanted, the clock face with no hands meant that we had all the time to get there.

     We celebrated 9 years together earlier this year and we have taken the coin seriously. We don't sit around waiting for our final day to pop up, we are constantly doing things, we are constantly on the go. Monday is shopping day Tuesday is our date day, we shoot pool every Wednesday, most Saturdays we spend with MJ and Matthew, Sunday is our day of rest although most of the time we go for long rides traveling the back roads in three states, we have been on every two lane backroad in Georgia. The rest of the week we make up as we go along, if the weather is good we hook up the boat and go fishing, if the weather is not great we find some project to work on or visit her family or just watch an old movie.

     Every now and then we get a wild hair and go somewhere and I'm not talking local. We got into the habit of going to Tennessee on Uncle Paul's birthday every September, this year he turned 95. While there we get together with family and friends. Kay wanted to meet my whole family so we have been to Tennessee and Kentucky visiting cousins and friends. A few years ago we took a ride on the Amtrack train to Arizona to see brother Pat, what an experience. We have pulled the boat to Tennessee, south Georgia, South Carolina, Florida and Louisianna to fish. We traveled the Blue Ridge Parkway  from Ashville to it's end in Virginia. Every now and then we just go some place for a few days to some destination that struck our fancy.

     As long as we are both in good health, I expect we will continue with our somewhat vagabond life style and why not, we earned it. With more time behind us than there is in front of us we don't intend to waste it. 

     

      

They Don't Make Em Like They Used To

 

     Anybody of my generation will tell you that consumer goods being produced today are not nearly as good as those produced 60 years ago. We have become a throwaway society, from automobiles to appliances, computers and cell phones, everything is made to be tossed in the recycling bin when it's life is done, I think it's called "planned obsolescence". Personally, I find it aggravating when making a purchase knowing that at my age I may well out live the product I'm buying but it hasn't always been like this. 

     The automobile came about in the late 1800's, for a time most were built by hand one at a time, it wasn't until Henry Ford invented the production line that they were mass produced. They were built like tanks with parts that could be repaired rather than replaced, it had to be one hell of an accident to cause a car to be "junked out". Today's cars are designed with parts made from thin metal and even plastic, just be careful not to sneeze on one as that may cause a dent. There are cars and trucks built in the 50's, 60's and 70's that are still running today.

     In the early 70's Linda and I bought a washing machine for $150, it didn't have all of the technology of today's models but it did a great job of cleaning our clothes. We moved that machine from state to state and coast to coast for over the next 30 years before it finally bit the dust in the early 2000's. At the same time we purchased the washer, Eileen had a "used" dryer that she gave us when she moved back to Florida, it was already several years old but lasted until the washer bit the dust.

     When we bought the washer we also purchased a side by side refrigerator / freezer. It too was carted around the country for years, when we sold our house in 2005 it was still working like new but I decided I was tired of moving it and left it with the house. Kay and I bought a new one when we moved in our home about 6 years ago and had to call a repairman twice before it was six months old.

     The telephone I grew up with was an ugly black plastic thing bolted into the wall, it never broke down and worked as long as the lines were still up. You couldn't carry it around in your pocket, they had to be used within ten to fifteen feet of where they were mounted (hence the term - land line) and the only change in the first 70 years were to the style and color. It's only lately that the phone company has decided to no longer service them. Their replacement, the cell phone, is a throw away mainly due to constantly changing technology and style. Their ability to be constantly carried on your person means you are constantly connected to the world around you to the point that some people seem to be constantly talking on it as long as they are awake. The cell phone does so much more than it's predecessor but at the cost of taking over the lives of so many people and constantly changing technology means that a new and improved model comes out every year and cost a couple of thousand dollars.

     Computers are another thing, they made their debut before cell phones but rapid advances in technology changed the world we live in. With their advent, any piece of information you needed was at your fingertips, no waiting. They started out very big and repairable now everything is available on your cell phone, the lap top and desk top computers are no longer fixable, if it breaks - get a new one.

     There was a time when shoes were made from real leather and the soles could be replaced when they were worn down, today most shoes are made from a combination of leather and rubber when they wear out toss them in the garbage. They are cheap to make especially since most are made in China and southeast Asia. 

     Kay and I have a nice set of dinner ware and silverware but we rarely use them. Paper plates, bowls, cups, plastic forks, knives and spoons are so much easier because cleanup requires only a garbage can. Most of our drinks come in plastic bottles so why dirty a glass when a red Solo cup will do just fine or why dirty a coffee cup when a styrofoam cup only needs to be tossed in the trash.

     There are antique stores everywhere, they sell everything that has survived decades of use going back for a hundred years but sadly they only bring back memories to us old people they once served, the youth of today don't want them to the point that many things at estate sales wind up being tossed.

     In today's world we have so much that enriches our lives but society has changed to the point that it never shuts down, we run 7 / 24, we don't have the time to worry about making repairs and no one seems to be concerned about passing things along because no one wants them. It's all about information, technology and staying connected. Of course, those of us who lived in an age where things were repaired thinks the world is going to hell in a hand basket but then I seem to remember that my parents said the same thing about my generation, I would wonder what my grand kids will be saying to their kids but they don't make kids the same any more either.

      

    

Family

 

     

     Nine years ago Kay and I were married, on that day our lives changed in many ways. Each of us had been married before, we lost our spouses within a week of each other, together we had been married 82 years. We had a lot of memories and a lot of things from our past but more important we acquired a new future full of new memories and things.

     One of the most important things I gained was a new family. Three new brothers and sister-in-laws, nieces, nephews, and cousins by the bunches. One niece has seven kids, after nine years I finally remember their names, maybe in another nine years I will be able to put the proper name to the right face, I'm trying.

     Like me, the immediate family is aging, changing daily as we all grow older. Kay has lost two for her brothers, most recently her oldest brother Bob passed away. In these short nine years I have grown to love my extended family, I have laughed with them and cried with them, I have watched them suffer and watched them grow. I love them all.

     I have four families now, my own two sons, daughter in law and two wonderful grand kids. Linda's sister and niece and cousins. My two brothers and sister and a whole bunch of cousins and one uncle and now Kay's family. Turns out they are, in my eyes, all alike, some one is always needing something, someone always has a problem and someone is always there to help. They are my family and I love them.

     

It's Been A Helluva Year

 

     This has been a helluva year for Kay and I, it started out in July of 2024 when we both came down with Covid. We had all of the vaccinations to prevent getting the Covid but we may have waited too long to recharge the system. I got it first and had a difficult time, Kay was not as infected as me but we both survived although not without some dreaded side effects. Kay really didn't have any lasting side effects but I had difficulty catching my breath that seems to have finally gone away but has been replaced with exhaustion and low energy after exhertion

     Fifteen months, four doctors, two cat scans, one nuclear stress test and a heart catherization later and my breathing problems are still with me but have changed to a shortness of breath / fatigue. Through all of this I have found out that my lungs are clear and I have a heart that a lot of fifty year olds would love to have. I do have what is now called "Long Covid", the side effects have a name now. I have no doubt that I will survive and the side effects will disappear but after 15 months I'm getting a little tired of it.

     During all my health problems, Kay's life has been upside down. In addition to worrying that I was going to drop dead from a heart attack, her brother Bob was diagnosed with an inoperable tumor last fall and given a short time to live. He found a doctor who gave him hope and underwent an extreme radiation therapy schedule. It worked out for a short time but then he was taken to the ER and had an operation to repair a hole in his stomach. Things didn't go as well as expected, Bob remained in the hospital for the next ten weeks, he never went home. 

     The day after Bob's funeral I underwent my heart catherization, the stress test had revealed that I three arteries blocked and may need open heart surgery, needless to say Kay was worried. As it turned out I have no blocked arteries serious enough to warrant stints much less surgery. I consider this a very good outcome in that it has taken me 78 years to get one artery clogged to 50%, in my way of thinking it's going to take another 78 years to finish me off with heart trouble.

     At the suggestion of my doctor we joined a gym and exercise three days a week, so far that's going well but I still have the dreaded "side effects". It's a very nice gym with a helpful staff and a mixture of young and old people. Going to the gym has made me wonder why I do it, three of my grandparents were born in the late 1800's and the other about 1901, they never exercised, they cooked with lard and used bacon grease and yet they lived in to their 80's. A high school classmate would run for miles every day and ran road races one day he went for a run and never came back, he was in his late fifties so I have to wonder if all this exercising is really necessary.

     As we checked in the other night I saw two notices on the counter, they had pictures of two members who had recently passed away, one man was 74 the other was 76. All of this got me to thinking. I'm about halfway through my 78th year and in pretty fair condition, my family history indicates the possibility of a long life at least in to my eighties, there are more years behind me than in front of me so what is all of this exercise going to get me, damned if I know. I wouldn't mind being around to see my grand kids go out into the world, I wouldn't mind being around a little longer as long as I'm not a burden on.

     The older I get the signs of my aging become more prominent as the days pass, I moan and groan when I move and there seems to be an ache or pain somewhere on my body all the time but I refuse to give in old age. I push myself because I feel like if I accept my plight then then all is lost, I have goals that I have set and intend to at least try to achieve them. I don't know when my last breath is going to come or what will bring it about but I intend to fight for it.

     PS, I bought a water ski last year and was going to ride it but Covid got in my way and now winter is coming on so I'll have to wait until next summer, there will be a video.

     

  

     

     

     

Aces and Eights

 

     One of the things that dad picked up in the Navy was a desire to gamble. I say that he picked it up in the Navy but it could have been something he already was familiar with and just refined his skills in the Navy, at any rate, dad liked to gamble. It wasn't until I turned 13 and went to work at the grocery store where he was the butcher. Up until then I thought those times when mom was ticked because there was very little money were due to his drinking.

     There are many forms of gambling, i.e. cards, dice, horse races and dog races, then there are the lesser known local forms of pitching coins, side bets and pulling Coke bottles. Dad didn't bet the horses or dogs and I'm not sure he ever got into a dice game but beyond that he was ready, willing and able.

     When I went to work with him I would often find him and a couple of the younger guys passing their break time in some form of gambling. We called it pitching pennies in school mainly because pennies were all we could afford to loose, dad and his cohorts were usually good for dimes and quarters. The game was played when two or more participants would toss a coin against a wall or any straight edge, the coin had to hit the wall then flop back , the coin that landed closest to the wall won and the other participating coins would be forfeited. The amount of the initial bets didn't add up to a lot but over 15 - 20 minutes you could loose a couple of dollars and in 1960 two dollars was a tidy sum.

     Every grocery store sold soft drinks just as they do today and all overstock was stacked in the backroom. This was before aluminum cans and plastic bottles, all soft drinks came in glass bottles, we sold the standard Coca Cola, RC, Pepsi and several other brands of the era. The bottles came in cardboard "six pack" containers, four containers to a wooden case with the brand logo, there were also 24 individual bottles in a case and the cases were stacked about 15 high against a wall in the stockroom. For reasons known only to Coca Cola, their bottles were made in various cities around the nation and the name of the city and state of origin was embossed on the bottom of the bottle. Over the years the bottles found their way around the country as they were used over and over again and again so that there might be bottles from several states and cities in a case and that presented an opportunity for gambling.

     The game was called "pulling Coke bottles". It was played when two opponents randomly selected a case of cokes, empty or full didn't matter. A bet was established, usually a quarter but sometimes higher. Each player would select a bottle and look on the bottom for the place of manufactor, the bottle that was made the farthest away won. There were 12 pulls in each case and should there be a doubt as to the exact mileage a call was made to the local AAA office.

     Side bets occurred when a bet was already in place and another individual would bet on who would win. Dad liked to do side bets when we would go to turkey shoots.

     When Linda and I came home on leave as I was shipping out to Vietnam the first time, it was in November of 1967. The local VFW or American Legion would have "turkey shoots" where participants would shoot at targets with shotguns, the person closest to the bullseye won a prize. Prizes would be cash money, bourbon whiskey, frozen turkeys and baked hams. Money and bourbon were the general prize and usually cost about two dollars to shoot, up to 15 shooters would shoot at the same time. Frozen turkeys and baked hams were special shots and usually cost double the regular shoot.

     Dad had a 12 gauge shotgun but it didn't hold a good shot pattern but a friend / customer had one that held a much tighter pattern so they would swap guns for the season that ran weekends from early October till the week before Christmas. 

     Drinking and guns, as a rule, don't mix but they were different times then. Dad couldn't go too long without a drink but when I was with him he at least let me do the shooting and that's when the side bets would start. Shells were furnished for every shoot and as we were loading dad would tap the guy next to me and bet him that I would come closer to the bullseye. The first weekend we were shooting we came home with one ham, two turkeys, a couple of half gallon bottles of Henry Mckenna bourbon and around $50 cash.

     While there are many card games in the world of gamblers, in dad's world it was poker. Coming from Southern Baptist background I would say that this was something he picked up while in the Navy.

     Growing up, I always knew dad had a drinking problem but I didn't know about the gambling till I became a teenager. There had always been times when he stayed out till the early morning hours and I remember times that he would come home and tell mom she had to tighten the belt but I didn't know why. I later learned that I saw a lot of things through rose colored glasses.

      The parents of my generation were a different breed, they grew up during the "great depression" and jumped right in to a world war. Dad was just a kid when he went to war, the things he did and saw most likely set the tone for the life he lived. 

      I've said it before, I loved my parents in spite of their character flaws. I miss them.